Transition Pains

Where to begin this journey through the grit and grace of life? Why not start right where I am right now! I am a mom of two wise, caring, beautiful, young women. They are fiercely independent and are flourishing in their own communities/areas of life. So what is the issue you ask? It's silly! But I miss my girls needing momma! I know! I know! I hear the mom of the three year old who won't potty train or the triplets that won't sleep through the night. I get it! I don't forget the nights that were so short due a sick child or the tantrums that made you thankful you loved Jesus. Yet, on this side of the parenting train, the house is so quiet. The girls do what they are suppose to do, they grow, soar and fly off. They do check in. It's not the same. Maybe homeschooling made it harder to let go, I am not sure, but what I do know is I miss hearing little feet run down the hall to our bedroom every morning to join us in bed for cuddles. I miss the run down of the day we use to get when they would go play or take classes elsewhere. I miss the singing in the van on the way to events. I miss the dinner table talking about our days: the good part and the yucky part. My niece calls it the glows and blows. Love it! Regardless, my point being, while I do miss those things, if I choose to sit in those moments long, I find myself in a very ugly place. A place of lonliness. A place of looking back instead of forward. A place I believe the best is behind me. I don't believe that at all! I believe that God lets us cherish those moments much like he cherished the time with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. The walks and talks. The intimate moments as a family. Now, the fact Adam and eve were banished from the Garden ends the likeness of these two but I bet when they left the garden, God missed those moments. He desired to be close to His children. He wants them to meet Him and share their hearts. He wants to help guide them in their daily lives. He wants to know they are well. He is a loving Father, so I choose to believe that is true of His character. With that being true, instead of wallowing in the sorrow of what once was, I have to pour myself into the relationship I know I need most: with my heavenly Father. I dig into His word. I pray over my girls and husband daily and I share the joys of my life as I started teaching again after being home 19 years. I have no desire to hold my daughters back in the "garden" of our home. I instead crave to see them soar in their lives as God desires them to do. So I have to daily take those moments I struggle missing them to God and know He understands. He gets it. He created me to be their mom and I need to trust Him to hold me through these transition pains until the new normal in this phase of life feels like routine. Until then, I need lots of grace. My girls often hear me say I am sorry I'm bad at this because i've never done it before. But I am learning as I go and I so need their grace along the way. How about you? Is God asking you to let go of something that is blocking you from intimacy with Him? Is He asking you to let go of the garden gate because He wants you to grow in the desert before you see the promised land in your life? Praying you take that leap of faith and step out to see He is sufficient in all ways. Until next time: live in grace.

Welcome!

I have found myself coming back to a love I let go for a season in my life. The love of writing. Not only do I get out my thoughts, but I capture the daily life of my family, prayers both answered and still to be answered, joys and sorrows in our lives. Writing/journaling becomes an outlet that lets me put onto paper what my mind unpacks nightly. It lets me dive into topics I try to escape at times out of pure laziness or fear. I struggle to find this time to pour back into my love of writing, but the time feels right. So, let's take this journey together as I refelect on where God has brought me over the years and see where He is leading me next. One thing I know about being a Christ follower: you need both grit and grace to get through this life. He allows us to build up the grit we need to handle all that life throws our way by the tiny struggles we have along the way. Those little disappointments grow our grit to handle the big stuff in time. Oh and there is big stuff! It is brutal! But God's grace is what carries us through it all. I am eager to unpack a few thoughts before I start sharing about my own journey with grit and grace. First, I am a wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt and teacher. I have PCOS and have never been able to have biological children, but am blessed through the beautiful gift of adoption. Twice. Best decision we ever made! My husband and I live next door to his parents and a mile from his work. I teach in the community. I live 10 minutes from my siblings. I am active in the lives of my nieces and nephews. Love being an aunt! Now I am a great-aunt and they keep adding more! So fun! Second, I am not a counselor, professional support in any way for any of the topics I may share. I am a woman who has walked with God over 30 years and am blessed to share the journey in order to help others on theirs. Or maybe at least find humor in some of what God has done. Last, I love a good story with a laugh, lesson and lots of love. So, know sometimes I might be serious, but there is a funny nugget coming! So pour a cup of coffee or tea, grab your Bible and let's see where God takes us this week!